One of the presuppositions of NLP is that we can only evaluate behaviour and change in terms of context and ecology. That’s to say, we can only evaluate change if we firstly understand the circumstances in which change has taken place. Secondly, we can only make that evaluation if we can confirm that everyone benefits, […]
The art of effective communication is, in my view, reaching a shared understanding of an issue or a situation. We don’t have to agree. Indeed, we can agree to disagree. However, if we have communicated effectively, I understand you and you understand me. We can each represent accurately what the other has said. Easy, isn’t
Those of you who read my blog regularly will know that NLP underpins all of the work that I do as a coach. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as a concept has been with us since the 1970s, the work of John Grinder and Richard Bandler. And describing it as a concept is somewhat misleading. It is
You may know people who seemingly have a constant sixth sense. Remarkably, they just seem to intuit, drawing understanding from nowhere. Or that, at least, is how it appears. In reality, they are simply drawing on the information which their senses are receiving, and which they are processing unconsciously. It’s something which we all do,
You may be one of those people who just appear to have everything fall into place. With seemingly no effort, you get everything or almost everything that you want. Others may comment on how lucky you are. And, of course, it’s possible that you have repeatedly hit the proverbial jackpot. Equally, you may be one
You’re talking with someone and suddenly you get a feeling that something is not right. Weirdly, those alarm bells start ringing. Bizarrely, there are red flags. And you just can’t put your finger on what is amiss. Yet, you know that something is not adding up. Similarly, you have to make a decision. Logic goes
Life is a constant stream of experiences, all with an emotional response. We have the experience, this triggers an emotion, and we move on. Unconsciously, we resolve the experience and the emotion and then file it all away. The emotion that we attached to the experience may well change. Something very funny in the moment
We mostly know that lying is wrong. Additionally, we mostly know that the odd white lie is acceptable. Indeed, it’s those white lies that keep our relationships on something of an even keel. And I was wondering about lying given that at this time of year, those of you with young children will be making
I met someone recently who’s life had taken a steep downward turn. A couple of poor decisions had spiralled out of control, leaving him with next to nothing. He was angry. Very angry. He was directing his anger at everything and everyone. Obviously, his situation had nothing to do with anything that he had done.
Much is written about the importance of emotional intelligence. It is something that some seem to have in abundance. Equally, there are those who seem to really struggle. Importantly, it has nothing to do with general or intellectual intelligence. I’ve certainly met people who are very intelligent yet completely lack any emotional intelligence. The good