I talk a lot about goal setting. Unsurprising, really, given that I work as a life coach. It’s all about planning for the future, and then making it happen. Additionally, I speak about well-formed goals, bringing that future into now. Making it exciting and compelling. What I talk less about, although it is just as important, is what sits behind those goals. In other words, what motivates your actions? Are you striving for what you want or are you driven by what you don’t?
Firstly, what exactly does that mean? If you’re driven by what you want, you’re focussed on the future and a specific target. However, if you are driven by what you don’t want, all you know is that you want to be somewhere which is other than where you are now. That’s to say, anywhere but here. Which could be absolutely anywhere.
Crucially, that anywhere else may be better than where you are now. Alternatively, it may not. You’re leaving it to chance. As you randomly seek something which is not where you are now, you are giving no direction other than it not being here.
Secondly, your motivation is likely to fade after time if you’re driven by what you don’t want. That wanting to get away from here may initially be a powerful driver. It gets you up and it gets you moving. Unfortunately, as you move away from the negativity of now, that motivation begins to fade. It’s the reason some people jump from job to job. Similarly, it’s what leads some to go from relationship to relationship. Equally, you may know people who are forever trying new hobbies only to abandon them no sooner have they started. Driven by not wanting the current job, not wanting to be single, not wanting to be bored, interest quickly wanes.
This is particularly obvious when thinking about dieting and weight. Driven by not wanting to be fat, or a particular size, or a specific shape, once that starts to change, the motivation quickly disappears. This is yo-yo dieting.
Thirdly, if you’re driven by what you don’t want, once you’re starting to take action your focus remains on the past. As you begin to make changes, you have to keep looking to the past to make sure you haven’t somehow got back there. This, in turn, means that you don’t have all of your attention on where you’re going.
The key is to establish what you want. It sounds easy. However, it can be a real challenge to work out what that wanted future is like. This is where understanding your values can help. Similarly, a tool like the wheel of life can focus the mind, establishing how satisfied you are with various aspects of your life. This, in turn, leads to what action you can take to make it better, to get to where you want to be.
So, if you know what to do, do it now. If you’re not sure, book a free initial consultation here, and then take the next step. You know that you can do it, and you know that it makes sense, don’t you?