At the time of writing this, Christmas is but a few weeks away. You may have been planning the festivities for weeks, possibly months, maybe since the start of the year. Alternatively, you may find the approaching holiday season something you really wish to avoid. Obviously, you could be somewhere in between. I find myself in that group. I enjoy Christmas in December, dreading the mince pies and other goodies that fill supermarket shelves in September. So, how do you get through this time of year. So, today I’m revealing how to boldly survive Christmas this year.
Firstly, everything I reveal in this blog, you can apply to any occasion which you don’t really enjoy and have to find a way through. Christmas is an obvious one, partly because it’s now that time of year. However, Christmas does always feel like the “big one”, simply because it’s everywhere. I do, though, know that some families have gatherings which surpass the excesses of Christmas. Crucially, any event which you don’t enjoy can become huge in your own mind.
All of this got me thinking about the many NLP tools and how they could prove useful at times like these.
Cause and effect, for example, gets you to think about whether you feel that you are in control and empowered, or whether you feel you are acting at the behest of others, not really in control. The pressure from family, friends, colleagues, society can be huge; pressure to socialise, spend money, enjoy yourself. Put yourself at cause and opt out. Just don’t do it.
Easier said than done. So, then think about your values. What’s important to you? Christmas and all that it represents really may not matter to you. What, though, about the people around you? Are they important to you? If they are, and Christmas is important to them, put yourself at cause. Tell yourself that you’re making the best of it for them, because you want them to have the good time, which includes being with you, that they want.
Obviously, if you really don’t care about those around you, put yourself at cause once more, and be honest about it. Just make sure you are ready to deal with the consequences of such a position.
Unsurprisingly, one of the recurring themes at this time of year is previous bad experiences, often from childhood. That said, those past bad experiences can come from any time in the past and any event. Potentially, it’s about bad experiences with people. Whatever the cause, those bad experiences can leave us with negative emotions, which we carry. A burden which shapes us and colours our judgment.
If this is you, find a way to resolve those emotions. Time Line Therapy® is a technique which allows you do that. It’s not the only route. Find one which works for you. Allow yourself to put the burden down and move forward. It also goes back to being at cause or being at effect. Put yourself in charge, leave the past in the past, and allow yourself to be present.
Allow your attention to focus on those aspects that you do enjoy. Look forward to them. Enjoy yourself when they’re happening. Remind yourself that you got through those parts that you didn’t enjoy and reward yourself with the parts that you do.
Obviously, there may be nothing that you enjoy. This may be true. Equally, you may be so blinded by what you don’t enjoy, that you fail to see what you do, in fact, enjoy. Take a step back. Review the events. Is there really nothing enjoyable?
And, if the answer is that there isn’t, that nothing is enjoyable, then work out what you can add so that there is something for you to focus on.
Finally, make a plan. Work out where you want to be in early January. How do you want to look back over the last six or seven weeks? Make the plan. Set the goals. Take action.
Remember, if you want to get through it in a way which works for you and for those around you, you have to be at cause. Having a plan puts you at cause. So does taking action.
Amaze yourself when you realise that you can do.
And, if all else fails, shut the front door, let the world get on with its madness, and you can enjoy your splendid isolation.
If you know what to do, do it now. If you’re not sure, book a free initial consultation here, and then take the next step. You know that you can do it, and you know that it makes sense, don’t you?
