I met someone recently who’s life had taken a steep downward turn. A couple of poor decisions had spiralled out of control, leaving him with next to nothing. He was angry. Very angry. He was directing his anger at everything and everyone. Obviously, his situation had nothing to do with anything that he had done. He felt that he knew what to do and how to resolve his situation. Infuriatingly for him, the rest of the world seemed to disagree. Which further added to his anger. And it got me wondering. When life unravels, how bad does it have to be before you’re ready for change?

A long single carriageway road stretches into the horizon, the sun is rising and the blue is broken by light white clouds.You may be one of those people who is very aware. You have life mapped out. Importantly, you can flex with the challenges. Crucially, when things start to go off track, you’re there and sorting it. You may be like me. Mostly sorted and mostly able to keep life on track. Until it’s not. I have a brief period of despair, and then I respond to the challenge. Eventually, all is good.

I am, though, struck by the number of people who are willing, or seemingly willing, to sit in the chaos as everything begins to fall apart. That’s possibly a bit harsh on my part, so let me explain.

A long corridor, partially lit, leads into the unknown.Firstly, the chaos, the wheels coming off, may be a very gradual process. You can barely be aware of the change and decline happening. Suddenly, you are no longer happy yet the thought of change is too much.

Secondly, you may realise that life is on the downward slope, yet the fear of change is just too great. Just too painful.

Thirdly, you may be cling to the desperate hope that everything will sort itself out. Sometimes, it does. Mostly, it doesn’t.

Finally, you may be hating the decline yet have no idea what to do.

The Satir Change Model does provide some useful insight. The model proposes that only when you hit absolute rock bottom can you start to make change. The pain of change at that point is less than the pain of continuing where you are. Essentially, the model highlights that wherever you are on the change continuum, there is a better future awaiting.

A person sits atop a mountain, looking over a valley with hills and mountains in the backgroundOf course, no model has all the answers. Additionally, as I said earlier, some are very good at making changes before, well before, everything starts to come apart. It is, though, reassuring to know that when we do make changes it can lead to better, to more, to being differently.

If you know what to do, do it now. If you’re not sure, book an initial consultation here and then take the next step. You know that you can do it, and you know that it makes sense, don’t you?

Categories: CoachingNLP

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